Know what you want your child to learn and what future behaviour you would like them to adopt.
‘What is the best way to successfully apply the boundary and teach the lesson you want your children to learn?’
How you enforce the boundaries can make or break your relationships with your children, and are as crucial as establishing and setting the boundary in the first place.
It is necessary to have a level of consistency in the way you deal with each push or violation of any of your non-negotiable boundaries.
Essentially ‘the time must fit the crime’.
Too harsh, you run the risk of alienating your young people and
Too soft, you run the risk of being a pushover.
Neither position will be in the best interests of your child or your relationship.
The effects may not be evident immediately, however, the cracks will begin to show as your child gets older.
Encourage your young person to be honest and open with you so you can have a two-way conversation where they can express themselves.
Your ability to listen, though it may not make a difference in how you set boundaries, will help them to feel safe with you.
It is important not to take anything personally, to focus, only on the issues and not to react out of emotion.
If you are hurt or angry, take a step back and breathe before saying or doing anything. The calmer you are, the more consistent and objective you can be in how you deal with your children.**
If you would like to learn more, why not attend my workshop. Click on the link for more information