Geraldine (not her real name or image), as a social care professional, wanted to improve her relationships at work.
With her colleagues she had a tendency to be distant and hard to reach. With her bosses, she would quickly lose respect for them if she felt they were unable to fully understand her role.
She has high expectations of herself and even higher expectations of her managers. She found herself struggling at work when she lost faith and trust in her managers’ competence and their ability to support her. As a result, their relationship deteriorated. Unhappy, she left her position.
The work that Geraldine does is challenging and can be emotionally draining; therefore, the relationship she is able to build and establish with her managers and colleagues is even more important as they serve as an important support network for her.
Geraldine recognised that her lack of trust in her boss’ competence was part of a pattern of behaviour that she had repeated in various guises since her childhood. It led to her being distant, emotionally unavailable, judgmental and non-cooperative. She found that she would be quite short and argumentative. She recognised that boundaries were being violated on both sides, and whilst she had little control over her manager’s behaviour; she wanted to take control of her own.
Her aim for undertaking the Boundaries Training and Coaching (BTC) programme was because….
She recognised that her desire to be successful in her work was partly hinged on the quality of the relationships she was able to establish.
She felt that over time, this had become a barrier to her ability to attain the level of success she was capable of.
She also understood that we all have our issues and wanted to be more accepting of others, respecting their differing beliefs and values, even if she didn’t agree.
The Boundaries Training and Coaching Programme covers the following
Part 1: Boundaries Training looks at all aspects of your relationships, explores the principles that guide your interactions and identifies the boundaries that remain constant in any and all circumstances.
Part 2: Working with the horses involves a 1 or 2-day intensive programme. Horses form an integral part of the programme as they allow you to practically experience your attitudes, beliefs and behaviours in a safe and supportive environment.
Horses are boundary experts and, as such will help to identify any holes that may exist. They will provide you with honest, non-judgmental feedback to assist you to apply and communicate your boundaries in your key relationships. Click the link to discover the beauty of working with horses.
Part 3: Boundaries coaching is designed to provide you with any support as you gain confidence integrating all you have learnt into everyday life; with your children/teens, family, friends and work colleagues.
Due to a long standing neck injury, she was unable to complete the second stage of the programme with the horses. Therefore we moved straight onto the Boundaries coaching.
Each week Geraldine and I would discuss current issues she was experiencing in her work or family life in relation to the key principles she learnt during her training.
This enabled her to gain clarity of how the situation played out. She was then able to see how and when boundaries may have been pushed/violated, and by whom.
In doing so, she was able to understand the reactions from all parties, and reflect on how she could have handled the situation differently, as well as identify ways in which she could clearly express her feelings and communicate her needs.
The paragraph below is Geraldine talking about how the programme has worked for her.
On completing the programme, GB stated;
“Boundaries coaching has been so helpful to me. It has helped me to have more emotionally healthy relationships with other people. I am able to clearly identify what my boundaries are. Whereas before, they were blurred in some areas, and non existent in some of my relationships with family members. I feel confident to say no to situations that I feel are not right for me, and I am able to re-negotiate other situations so that I feel safe and treated with respect. I have been able look at all of my relationships and establish boundaries for how I treat others and how I expect to be treated. I feel that the coaching has enabled me to identify when people are pushing against my boundaries and instead of reacting and having regrets later. I am able to step back and choose my response.
I highly recommend boundaries coaching for personal, as well as, professional development.”
GB, Social Care Professional